Every now and then we have news of some girl got murdered, raped or abused. Yes, it’s been so many years and it’s still the same. Oh no wait its actually worse. I have lost count of the number of recent assaults, beatings, and murders of women. Newspapers are full of similar stories. I have tried not to think about it, but it is impossible. In our society what else is there to say? Bardasht Karna Chaye, Sabar Karna Chaye…….! Like seriously? Bardasht Karty Mar Gae Hain. Please understand that abusive behavior is never acceptable. I therefore thought that we ought to briefly discuss domestic abuse and its signs.

What is Domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse is basically arrogant, controlling behavior of one person towards another. In other words, domestic abuse can be defined as a pattern of behavior in a relationship to gain power or authority over another partner. This kind of behavior can frighten, blame, terrorize, humiliate, hurt, injure or wound someone. Domestic violence may take the form of physical, mental, emotional, or sexual abuse.

Signs of Domestic abuse:

Some signs are clear facts of domestic abuse. For example, physical marks- body marks are easy to identify. But abuse can be in form of emotional abuse, verbal abuse, financial abuse or sexual abuse. Abuser intentionally try to control another person. He purposely uses verbal, nonverbal or physical means to get control over the other person.

Examples of Physical Abuse:

Physical Abuse doesn’t always cause permanent damage:

• Scratching, biting, grabbing, pushing.
• Slapping and punching.
• Throwing objects to hurt you.
• Hurting or threatening to hurt your children
• Disrupting your sleeping patterns to make you feel exhausted.
• Burning.
• Strangling
• Any threats or actual attempts to kill you

Examples of Emotional Abuse:

When your partner uses to control you or damage your emotional well-being.

• Name-calling, mocking, or making humiliating gestures.
• Yelling in your face.
• Manipulating your children.
• Telling you what to do or where you can and cannot go.
• Placing little value on what you say.
• Interrupting, switching the subject, failing to reply or listen, and distorting your remarks.
• Humiliating you in front of others.
• Expressing unfavorable sentiments about your family and related people
• Preventing or making it challenging for you to visit with friends or family.
• Cheating or being overly jealous.
• Shifting blame for abusive behavior by claiming you created it or blaming others.
• Monitoring the use of your computer, automobile, phone, and SMS.

Examples of Financial Abuse:

When abuser makes a victim entirely financially dependent on the abuser with no power or say in the matter.

• Forbidding the victim to work.
• Withholding money
• Denying access to bank accounts.
• Hiding family assets.
• Running up debt in the victim’s name.

How Can You be Helpful!

Most families in our society ignore domestic abuse because they believe it to be a private matter between the abuser and the victim. This is incorrect. Abuse—whether it be physical, emotional, or verbal—can never be justified under any circumstance. Regardless of how furious the other person is, he has no right to beat or mistreat anyone. Because of threats, fear of abusive spouses, or lack of family support, abuse is occasionally kept a secret.

On contrary we need families where women can share their distress and not expect more abuse from male members of the family. You should Listen to them. You must believe what they are saying to let them know they are not alone. Encourage them to seek help or help to connect them with some respective professional in the field. Show your support in any way possible.

In my opinion Society normalizes the unhealthy patterns of men. All of these things really make me question the kind of society we live in. Why is it so hard for the people, for the men to treat women like human beings without setting any conditions.

On top of everything we have families in our society who ignore the problematic behavior of male members of their family. They are very well aware of their aggressive behavior towards women, but they still make excuses, continued to turn blind eye.

People often justify abusive behavior of man by saying things like; Oh, she nagged him too much, why couldn’t she just obey what he asked her to do, instead of saying NO. Please mothers understand it’s not women’s responsibility to heal your damaged men. You just can’t compromise respect and trust to make relationship work.

Compromises Are Never Constructed on the Tombstones of Self Respect, Trust and Dignity.

People really don’t find anything wrong with it. Families are making excuses for them until they will do something drastic. This way many women has been raised in such a way that they should feel okay to be abused by the opposite gender thinking this is exactly how it is supposed to be men and if they are in a powerful position are allowed to slap, yell or to say mean things intentionally to you.

Actually, people don’t care about empowering women. Women go through so much trauma in order to share their stories with their families to speak up about abuse. Believe me some try to fight their battles internally, constantly and deeply before telling their families.

My advice to any woman reading this is to distance themselves from man who display undue aggression because what starts with one slap or yell will soon progress into more slaps and Yellin. If you don’t, they know they can always get away with it because to the support of their family and will smack and yell at you. Never believe a man’s claim that he scolds you in order to protect you that’s bullshit, only abusers think this way. OKAY?

Why does another man THINK he can yell at you if your father doesn’t? I am aware that ending a relationship—no matter how violent—is never simple. It often takes a woman a long time to give up on a relationship and realize that the only way to be safe is to walk away.

In the End PLEASE GIRLS DONT WAIT FOR ANY MIRICALE TO HAPPEN, KNOW YOUR WORTH. YOU DESERVE ALL THE RESPECT, LOVE AND CARE IN THE WORLD. JUST LEAVE HIM!!!