Abuse Survivors must constantly make an effort to heal and rehabilitate whether it be emotional or mental abuse. Every aspect of your life is impacted by the abuse. Sometimes, how people respond to situations is improper. Lack of understanding and knowledge is the cause of this. Some people externally fight battles. Some of us struggle intensely and continuously with them on the inside.

Abuse is abuse. Additionally, it is terrible if someone defends your abuser while blaming you for their conduct. I pray that no one has to go through any kind of abuse in her life. I’ll share with you some remarks made to me and many other ladies that had a negative effect on their lives.

I think He has calm down, you can probably go to your room now.

I have been there without knowing what it was. I am aware of how challenging it might be to move around in a setting when everyone occasionally expresses their ideas without considering how those opinions could affect others. People who knew him well had frequently repeated the last phrase to me. I didn’t know what else to do because I was so defenseless and open to all the verbal abuse.

Sometimes, the other person may play on your emotions to make you question your abilities, mistreat you, and attempt to place the blame on you while acting like a victim. This kind of behavior is often associated with misogynistic tendencies. Alot of men are not used to listening to women speak, have voice, and have opinions. They consider your act of speaking a shame on their control over you.

I always made an effort to forget what he used to say to me and to forgive him. It’s simpler to “forgive than to forget,” as someone once stated. My argument is that if someone is brave enough to ask for help or assistance from you, you should make sure you assist her rather than sending her.

He said things, he was angry but now he’s Sorry.

His immediate family had constantly told me had done things when he was angry, but now that he is sorry, come back, and give him another chance. And I had given him many chances. He used to say hurtful things when he was angry, but never regrets his behavior and apologizes for it. It’s not like that woman don’t give chances to their spouses obviously they would give them chance, no one want to destroy their marriage.

However, there is no point in giving them another chance because there are occasions when people do not repent of their actions. He was never willing to make amends or take action. He did things under the influence of his family. Even after realizing that his aggression is because of his mental illness, there was no justification for him to treat me in such a way.

It is not uncommon for some people to struggle with strong – headed, opinionated women who set boundaries. But it’s crucial to understand that a woman’s independence and self-assurance are significant traits that should be acknowledged. Men who struggle with independent, outspoken women frequently try to control them and Mould them into the people they want them to be. They find it difficult to swallow their pride, apologies, and feel self-conscious about what they have done or said.

You have to help yourself we can’t help you.

This statement was made by the same person who made statement no 2. You have to help yourself; we can’t help you; you need to change yourself. There were instances when I didn’t know what to do how to response in situations because I had never seen any male member of my own family doing such kind of creepy things to their wives.

The problem isn’t just this generation it lies heavily in the generation that has raised them. Stop making monsters and bullies. Tell your sons that their actions have consequences rather than hiding them. Usually, the family of your husband put the responsibilities to change their son on you which isn’t right.

We carry so much weight that doesn’t even belong to us. I think the lack of responsibility society holds itself upto for being the core reason women still fear speaking that is even more disheartening. Because pathetic men will always be protected by their own families. A Lot of these people don’t care about the impact this has.

So, this is important for you to understand and have awareness of abuse. So, you know when it’s happening to you and can save yourself. You can know someone, trust someone, tell them but trust yourself more. Believe me if you will not share you will definitely straight land into the pond of depression and anxiety yourself.

From my own experience when we bottled up our feelings and keep them inside, they lead to feelings of anger, sadness and frustration. Ignoring and not standing up for what is hurting us is a harmful coping mechanism that can have a long-lasting consequence. When we try to suppress our feelings and ignore what is causing us pain, we are only keeping the hurt inside and allowing it to get septic.

This can lead to an increase in negative emotions and can have a damaging impact on our mental and emotional well-being. By standing up for ourselves and facing what is hurting us head on, we can begin the process of heling and finding solution. It may be difficult, but it’s a necessary step towards mental and emotional well-being and more fulfilling life.

What made you stay

I have been asked this question a lot and it is one I have struggle with myself. I was so mentally and emotionally exhausted. I didn’t think I was worth more than a doormat. He also did not allow me for a job or work to support myself. He was also able to keep me away from my friends and family. I tried my best to hold the relationship.

Additionally, I was instructed that it was my duty to maintain our relationship intact. I was very traumatized during the relationship. It was quite puzzling for me when he alternated between acting very kindly and getting angry over the smallest things. He had some uncertainties that he often sought to cast upon me.

You most certainly cannot just get up and leave because that’s not how emotional and mental abuse is. This kind a men will demand that you change everything about yourself, make you financially dependent on them to a point where you start to need them. Every time, you are certain that it was your fault, yet you simply cannot leave.

I’m aware that other people must struggle more than I do. For most people, what I had been going through made no sense. They wonder how someone could be so afraid of someone else. Let me assure you here that fear is very consuming. You couldn’t grasp it unless you went through it yourself. Just telling other women to not to be scared is not enough.

You cannot decide for her to remain in a relationship and make it work; that is a personal choice that only she can make. Instead of making judgments and passing the comments you should be proud on the strength of the member who left an abusive situation. It’s like fighting every day to live with an abusive partner.

The fear, anxiety, and potentially devastating stress it produces can lead anyone to lose their strength. One of the most difficult things to do is often to walk away. I didn’t do it easily either. Most of the time, it requires a lot of bravery. It also takes a good support system of people you can rely on to help you.

I knew I wanted to but had no idea “how “until I ultimately found my own family’s assistance. Yes, it’s a luxury to choose ourselves as women. Unfortunately, most of women aren’t taught and raised to do it and that’s why you have to try and make this a better place to daughters.

He was good. He has never behaved in the manner that you describe

I am sure many abuse survivors must have heard this statement or something similar. In my case he also knew how to make himself normal in front of others and put the blame on me. He gave that impression to other people that everything was fine. But sometimes he misbehaves aggressively and rudely in front of other people just to show that he had a control over me.

In our culture people usually try to avoid this kind of conversations as much as they can. It doesn’t follow that he wasn’t abusive towards me just because someone else didn’t witness his abusive behavior or a mark of slap or injury on my body. It isn’t beneficial to have a tone of a disbelief towards someone who has experienced mental and emotional abuse.

You need to be aware of the controlling behavior’s, the abuse of power, the subtle ways our society makes you feel like YOU are at fault – when all you’re demanding is what you deserve. Men will abuse you when you wear clothes they don’t like, you speak up against their behavior’s, you wish to work against their will, you say NO.

Treat others you want to be treated is a powerful principal for building positive and healthy relationship. When we treat the other person with kindness, respect and empathy we are more likely to receive the same in return. On the other hand, if we behave in a hurtful or disrespectful manner, we are more likely to experience negative outcomes in our relationships.

If what you are saying is true, then why did the court believe him

People have questions when they learn about the divorce through court. Many of you are well aware of how the things work in family court system. I also know from my personal experience which took a toll on my health. Now I know the outcomes of the family court are dependent on the solid proofs otherwise judge would believe the other party whatever they say.

We all know how one can show the proofs for mental and emotional abuse. I know the women who have lost everything to their abusers. You can’t do anything You just Pray.

Why aren’t you going for a second marriage now that you are divorced?

Like many other survivors, I’ve been asked this question a lot. I think the people who asked me these kind of questions wanted the best for me. However, it takes time to recover from an abusive marriage. Before beginning a new relationship, one needs time to heal from the abuse. Starting a new chapter is incredibly difficult.

Stepping into a new relationship feels daunting, frightened, or hazardous, but this decision is a particular one for each woman. Even after the Divorce , I sometimes get shivers thinking about some instances that occurred during my difficult time.

Women frequently hurry into Second Marriage or other relationships because they have been told they cannot take care of themselves. She couldn’t possibly survive on her own in this harsh environment or male-dominated society. So, try to help them in finding a job. Motivate them to pursue higher education. Try to help them heal. Suggest them counselling or support groups.

We feel like we consistently fail in our attempts to do what is regarded as the “right thing,” we frequently carry some level of guilt with us every day. Don’t you think it’s almost like the system is set up to prevent us from ever succeeding? It seems that no matter what decision we make, there will always be repercussions.

Control is not love; it is abuse, and the connection caused by trauma is extremely genuine. You are kept in an abusive cycle by the ups and downs of a relationship. The abuse overtime only gets worse. If you are in a toxic relationship, please remember that you deserve more and that there are people who will accept you for who you are. You will live without them.

You don’t have to diminish who you are to please them. You will survive. You are not alone. Trust your gut and understand that love is not meant to hurt you, give you anxiety, make you walk around eggshells, destroy your self-esteem. There is always hope and when you take a stand for yourself, what you gain is yourself. Even when it seems difficult and lonely, keep yourself protected. You owe yourself that. See the signs and walk away. You are worth more than that.